Letting Go of the Dream (Part 1)

Neyers Beach House :: Glebe Bay - Edgewater, MD USA

It was a typical morning in the Neyers Beach House -- the dream home on the water I had sketched out from my imagination, hired a custom builder to bring to life, organized & decorated into a personal sanctuary, and was now the beautiful space I had the privilege to wake up in every morning and go to bed in every evening.

I had finished what I then referred to as my "upstairs routine" and made my way down to the 2nd level to make the first pot of coffee. This daily upstairs/downstairs routine involved all the essential things I personally needed before I was ready - emotionally, physically, and spiritually -- to face the world that day.

As I sat down at the kitchen island and listened to the coffee system go through its routine, I pulled my journal over to the placemat in front of me and began my daily check-in and gratitude entry.

What had become clear to me in waves of awareness over the past few months of meditating, writing, and contemplation was how much I no longer "wanted" to be here. When those thoughts first started to appear, I felt guilty for the seeming lack of appreciation for everything I had. There was something "more" there now, something that felt like it had been excavated from one of my deepest layers. A message from my soul.

It "felt" like simplicity and liberation. Freedom. A "lightness" washed over me multiple times as I wrote in my journal what that "new" dream could look like. No more household headaches. No more costly repairs or lawn upkeep. No more cleaning & tidying a 3,000 sq ft home all on my own.

I began to see a clear picture where I had "less" possessions, and "more" experiences of all the pleasurable (& painful) things this life offers to us.

The thought that came next felt like it came deep out of left field. I'd certainly never had it before. Or if I had, I'd never seriously entertained it. I heard: "You can sell your dream home. Simplify your life. Let go of the possessions you don't truly want or love. Use your time, energy & resources for the things that truly matter to you. Do it. Do it now."

Read Part 2 and the rest of the story.